Let's talk about: tears...

for the last hour or so, on a sunday night, i have been looking through photos. through memories of what has been. what my life entailed for so many years. it was like seeing old friends for the first time in a long time. it is not that i want what life was like during 2001 but that i could feel what it felt to live like that again. almost as if you were able to smell the same scent, or fit the same shoe size, or feel the same way you did, or even at that time be able to see someone through the lenses you have today.

it is not a sad thing it is just a recognizable difference. one that brings tears. almost similar to that of jo in little women when she is looking out the window as beth dies, but honestly more like dottie in a league of their own when she realizes how much she truly loves the sport of baseball. something that is ingrained in you. something that makes YOU who you are. i have begun to recognize those things in my life. find my niche. and whenever we do, i know i am guilty, we try for something else. but besides that, i had tears.

good tears. crying and emotional connectivity is always hard for me so to feel that is wonderful, no matter in what manner. it is the outward and visible sign of the connection to someone, of something, for someone. it is so overwhelming and is a feeling one themselves only truly knows.

but it is also a feeling of satisfaction, that things are okay...